Shadows Follow
by timeless13
Summary: Haru tries to escape the sins of his past, and winds up meeting a girl who may be able to understand him. but will he open up to her? or will his memories be too much for either of them to handle? haruOC i've only seen the show. please review!
1. Default Chapter

There are two voices in my head. The one that is speaking right now is calm, kind, and caring. The other one is full of hate, anger, and violence. That personality hurts people, and the other regrets it all. Because of the dark one, I have left my family, my friends, and my home. I had to, for their protection. I could never live if I hurt one of them. Again. But now their safe, and I endure the solitude. This is my curse. To walk alone, forever, even though I know that no matter how far I run, the shadows of my past will always follow.

They're gone. It awoke when I was 14. Whenever I'm embraced by another, they forget. Not everything, just me. It is as if I never played any part of their lives. So one by one, I lost my parents, my brother, all of my friends, because they wouldn't listen. Or they didn't believe me. I cried and screamed at first, but over the years I've gotten used to it. The empty expression on the faces of those who look at me. But I still know them. There are times when I enjoy it, actually. I like watching people from a distance, guessing about their lives, and knowing that they will live them well. Yes, I envy them, but this is the way it has to be. I can't change it. I will always be a shadow.


	2. coffee shop

Waiting in line at a cafe, Kairi glanced around at the tables, obseving the various people. A tired looking mother with her two children. A young boy who was talking on a cell phone, oblivious to his surroundings. A small group of blonde girls, who, if you knew how to look, were really desperate for friends, no matter how confident they acted. None of them noticed Kairi, but as her gaze swept the room, she locked eyes with a white haired boy. Deep grey eyes held hers, unblinking, and she had the odd feeling that he was lookinh at her the way she looked at other people. Searching her soul for some clue as to why she was who she was. As they continued staring, the boy smiled softly, and Kairi felt herself wanting to smile as well.

"Hey! You gonna order or what?"

Kairi's gaze jerked back in front of her to the cashier. She blushed as she got her drink and went to find a seat. On a whim she stopped as she passed the table where the white haired boy was.

"Um, excuse. Can I sit here?"

She asked quietly.

"Yeah, sure," the boy replied.

"Thanks." She smiled as she sat down. "I'm Kairi Narita."

"My name is Hatsuharu Sohma."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Sohma." She bowed her head.

"You too, Miss Narita."

"You can just call me Kairi." She said blushing.

"Haru." He replied, smiling at her.

She smiled back as she took a sip of her coffee.

"Do you come here often? I don't think I've seen you before....." She said.

He shook his head.

"I've been here a few times, but I'm not a regular." He paused. "You?"

"I practicaly live here," she said, laughing.

He laughed softly with her, and they continued their conversations contently for some time. However, eventually they had to leave. There was a sad silence as they stood up.

'I don't want to leave, but I don't want to risk anything happening to make him forget. I haven't really spoken like that to a person in a long time, and I'd like for him to remember me. Just once, I'd like some one to remember me.'

'I can't. The whole point of leaving was to protect the people I care about. I can't let myself get close to her.'

"So....." Kaiari stopped, unsure of what to say. Sighing, she looked at the floor. "Bye." She murmered as she turned and walked away.

"Good bye." Haru whispered.

'Don't start getting attached...you have to let her go. For her safety. You know that. Yeah, but.......Stop. Forget it, you know you can't.

A single tear slid down her face as Kairi walked out of the cafe.

'Why am I crying? It's been so long...I thought I was ok be now....But I felt so...I don't know...open with him. It was wierd. I didn't need my walls. Oh well, I know my options; Love and lose, or leave and remember. I can't go back. I've made my choice.'

She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't notice when a small book fell out of her purse.

"Hey! Girl! You dropped your book!" The cashier yelled at her.

She spun quickly, jerked from her thoughts. She didn't realize that Haru was walking behind her, and ran straight into him as she turned.

Her eyes widened as he let out a suprised grunt. Stepping away, she stared at his confused face. Taking it all in, Kairi felt something inside her shatter. You could consider it the final blow, because at the moment she decided that she was going to end it.

'I can't go on living like this.......The one person...and now he's gone too...everybody is gone....I can't do this anymore........I give up'

She turned and ran.


	3. roses

sorry, this chapter is kinda short and slightly rushed. and a little more lighthearted than the first two. i promise it'll get better, but i may not get another chance to update anytime soon, and i got up at three something this morning, so this was kind of a crappy chapter. anyway, those are all my excuses, so on with the story.

'What the hell? I didn't change! And why is she running? She looked so...empty...helpless... I know I said I wouldn't get attached to her, but this is different. This is very different-hurry! She's getting away! Don't let her leave!'

Haru ran as quickly as he could back to the counter to grab Kairi's book from the chashier.

"Wait! Kairi, aren't you going to get your book?"

He yelled as he ran after her.

Kairi slowed as she heard him. She didn't turn, instead she stood completely still and waited for him to catch up to her.

"Kairi, you left your book," Haru panted as he handed it to her.

She stood there, gaping at him, not believing what was happening.

He in turn stared at her, then wrote something down on a piece of paper and handed it to her.

"Meet me here tomorrow at 6:00."

She looked from the paper to him with a confused, dazed look on her face.

"You...you know...my name?"

'Is this real? But why...'

Haru sighed tiredly(word?).

"We'll talk more tomorrow, ok?"

Kairi just nodded dumbly.

He started to walk away.

"Haru?" Kairi called out, wanting to make sure she wasn't making stuff up.

Haru turned slowly to face her.

"Don't worry. I'll see you tomorrow, I promise."

And then he left.

After watching him walk away, Kairi slowly started home, trying to take in all of what just happened to her.

Haru let out a frustrated sigh as he turned on his bed to face the ceiling.

'I know I shouldn't be doing this...but I have to know. Nothing like this has ever been spoken of in the family...I wonder if it's ever even happened at all. I have to find out. But what if something happens...like before...No. It won't. I won't let it. Not again...OK, stop. It's in the past, I promised myself I woudn't think about it anymore, and I'm not going to. And I won't let anything happen to her either. Once I find out about her, then I'll leave. Once I know, she'll be safe. I won't hurt her...I won't...'

'How...how on earth could this be different? How could he be different? Maybe it's over...maybe the curse like, expires after a certain amount of time! Or maybe...'

Kairi laughed sadly at herself.

'I need to stop getting my hopes up like this. It's probably just something really simple, like we didn't come close enough to hugging for him to forget. But still...I don't know...I'll find out tomorrow. He promised...we'll talk...he promised...'

Kairi fell asleep quickly that night, still not knowing what was going on.

There was a hallway, with grey, stone walls. His footsteps echoed as he walked down it cautiously. He stopped in front of a door, and opened it silently. Through it was an immense room, all black, all stone. It was filled with pictures of people. Hundreds of pictures, but none of them were smiled. They all looked sad, or angry, or just blank. He stepped back out of the room quickly and continued down the hall. After a while he came to another door. The room on the other side of this one was was all white. It was comepletely empty, except for a rose suspended in the air. He stared as the rose shivered and melted into a drop of blood. It fell to the floor and a scream filled the room as it hit the white stone.

Haru woke up sweating.

First reviewers:

Birdcrazy

Ruun-Chan

OMG! i was totally not even expecting any one to review this! thank you so much! comepletely made my day! please keep reading, i promise this will get better. just hasn't been a good day. seeya!


	4. glass

So this was kinda short... no excuses... and it turned out it didn't take me as long as i thought ti would to post another chapter. this is going downhill for me though. so one of these days i am going to take a break and write a really good chapter!

* * *

The next morning Kairi stumbled sleepily into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee the same way she did every morning. As she walked back into her room to get dressed, she saw her clothes from the previous day on the floor where she'd thrown them. She gasped as everything came back to her, and ran to her jeans. She let out a relieved sigh as she took the paper out of her pocket and confirmed that she hadn't just dreamed everything.

"Thank you" she whispered and hugged the jeans as if they were the ones who'd made it all happen.

Later that day, after walking for half an hour, she paused in front of the door that was supposedly Haru's. Kairi took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. For a minute nobody answered, and she felt herself panicing.

'Oh god...what if I got the address wrong? This city is huge...I might never see him again...Oh no...Oh no, oh no, oh no...-'

"Hey." The door opened and Haru leaned against the doorframe, looking slightly concerned.

"Are you ok? You looked kinda feaked for a second..."

Kairi smiled, feeling relieved.

"No, I'm fine."

He just looked at her for a minute, then spoke again.

"Do you want to come in"

Kairi just nodded her head, afraid that her words would become mixed up if she tryed to speak. Remaining silent, she followed Haru back into his appartment. None of the lights were on, and it took a minute for her eyes to adjust to the faint light from the windows. When they did, she slowly turned to see the entire room. There wasn't very much furniture, and the few pieces that were in the room were simple and greyish. It gave the appearence of being cold, but the room actually felt very comfortable.

"I like your place" Kairi commented, still looking around.

"Thanks. I just moved here a few weeks ago." he said.

'Shut up! Don't get comfortable, this isn't going to happen again. Just until I find out what's with that girl...But she seems ok...maybe I won't have to disconnect completely...'

"Oh? You like it here"

"Yeah...Better than the last place I lived anyway..."

She thought for a second. "Do you move around a lot" She asked curiously.

"Yeah..."

'Shut up!'

They were both silent for a minute, not quite knowing how to continue. The Kairi noticed something else about the room

There were a few books on the coffee table, some plastic dishes on the counter, and a few other verious items, but...

"You don't have anything breakable...You know, like vases, or picture frames, or...anything..." She said sounding slightly intersted.

Haru's breath stopped for a second as his eyes widened.

'This was a bad idea. She should leave. Now. She has to leave. Can't be here.'

"Uh, I just remembered that I gotta be somewhere s right now. So I need to leave. Which means you need to leave. Sorry. I'll talk to you a later, ok" Haru words were rushed as he practically pushed Kairi back out the door, then slammed it shut behind her. As soon as she was out, he sunk to the floor with his back to the door and closed his eyes.

_Shards of glass on the floor...so much glass...never again...never..._

'What?'

Kairi stood silently, totaly shocked, out side the door.

"What the hell was that" she muttered to herself. She stood with her back to the door for a minute, trying to decide what to do.

'I guess he really had to be somehwere...that was weird, though...he seemed totaly freaked...scared...oh well.'

She shrugged her shoulders and started towards the stairs.

'I gotta get to work...He'll call me later or something...I shouldn't worry. I'm not giving up on this. I promise. I'm not letting go...not this time...'

She smiled to herself as she walked down the street.

'I promise...'

* * *

right, so this will go much faster if somebody has an idea or some sort of insperation(sp?)...but i'll live if you don't. and, uhm, if you read this could you please review? motivation to continue, ya know? even if it's short and you don't like it, i'd like to know how many people have read this. is there a way to tell who's read your story even if they don't review? if there is, let me know cuz i haven't found it. the next on will be better! even if takes me forever, i promise the next one will be better! and thank you so much Ruun-Chan for writing The Spottted Cow and Farmer Jane! i love it! 


	5. bored

right, so i know i said it would take longer, but i was feeling enspired. billy joel. scenes from an italian restaurant. i dunno, it seemed like it fit somehow. and thank you so much Ruun-Chan for the idea! maybe it's totaly sappy, but hey, why else would i love anime/manga stuff so much? plus i really wanted to get this chapter up (and possibly some feedback?) by this weekend. ok, wasted enough space. on with the sappy romance!

* * *

'Oh god, I hate this song.'

Kairi groaned and sat down, waiting for some one else to come into the club and bug her.

It had been two days since she'd left Haru's appartment, and she was begining to worry about him taking so long to get back to her. Kairi sighed as she looked at the almost empty dance floor.

'Weekdays suck. Ugh! It's so borring! Wow, I've only got-'

She looked at her watch.

'Two more hours 'til my shift is over.'

She closed her eyes and laid her head down on the bar, letting the pulsing of the music and lights fill her. She was currently at a loss for amusment, considering bartenders don't really do anything unless there's some one there...

'Some body, please get me out of here...'

She sat up quickly as she heard approaching footsteps, and then just sat there, blinking.

"Haru?"

"Hi," he said as he smiled and sat down at the bar.

She stared, then laughed nervously.

"Wow, you're..here! You're...What are you doing here?"

"I found out from one of your neighbors where you work."

He looked around the room.

"Slow night?"

"Uh, yeah, it's Tuesday."

They were both silent for a minute before Kairi spoke again.

"So...what are you doing here?"

"Uhm...well...I was kind of rude to you the other day, so I was wondering if I could make it up to you somehow. Like, for example, take you out to eat?"

She stared at him, then grinned.

"Are you asking me out?"

He merely smiled and shrugged.

"Uhm...ok..you mean right now?"

"Well yeah..."

"Alright, I'll go ask my boss."

She stood up, and went into a back room. After a couple of minutes she came out, practically glowing.

"Yeah, now is good. It's so low, he's gonna close up in a little while anyway."

"Alright, let's go." Haru stood up, grabbed her hand, and started towards the door.

Half an hour later they were sitting on opposite sides of a table next to a big window that looked out on the street below them. There was a tiny white vase of pale pink flowers and a little candle in the middle of the table.

"So...about the other day...you're probably waiting for an explanation..."

Kairi said slowly.

"Well, yeah...but that's not why I brought you here. I really just wanted to spend some time with you. And I've got to explain a few things myself..."

'This is a dumb idea. I shouldn't tell about me. But if she's gonna give her secret, then I at least owe it to her to give her mine. One of mine, anyway...But still, this is a bad idea...'

'Oh, god. He's gonna freak. Well..here goes nothing..'

Kairi took a deep breath.

"Ok, I'm cursed."

She stopped, waiting for him to laugh and tell her to quit joking, or that she was crazy and she neede to see a shrink.

'Please, please, please be ok..please...'

* * *

ok, so do you think i'm going to fast? like, things are happening to quickly? review please.


	6. normal

here we are again..uh-huh...anyways, on with it.

* * *

He just nodded.

"Ok, go on..."

She exhaled loudly.

"What? You believe me?"

He shrugged.

"Yeah."

'Well, that's a first...'

She paused, then continued speaking.

"Ok...well, if I'm embraced by anyone, then they forget about me. Like they never met me at all. It started when I was fourteen. So, that's why I freaked out the way I did when I bumped into you and you still knew my name. And by the way, if you have any idea why you still know me, then it would be great if you could share it..."

She trailed off waiting for his response.

'Bad idea...'

He sighed.

"Ok...Uh...I'm cursed too."

He paused, and after her staring at him for a minute, he continued.

" You know the animals of the Chinese zodiac? Well, if a member of the opposite sex hugs me, then I change into one of the animals in the zodiac. Twelve of my family members have the curse as well..."

He thought for a minute.

"So...maybe the effects don't work when they're activated by another cursed person...and that's why I didn't change...and why I didn't forget you..."

"It makes sense...I guess..."

She paused.

"Wait.. twelve of your family members?"

'Ok, this is probably to wierd for any other humans to even comprehend, and that's the only question you have?'

"Mmmhmmm. The cat is included in the curse."

"Wierd..."

"Yeah..."

They were both silent as they stared at the tablecloth. After a few minutes of avoiding eye contact, Kairi giggled nervously.

"So...that's that..."

"Mmmmhmmmm..." After a second he brought his head up to meet her gaze and smiled.

"Hey, I have an idea. Let's be normal."

"Say what?"

"I mean, we know about each other now, and apparently we're both ok with it, so let's not think about it. Be normal. You and me. You know?"

'What am I talking about? I swore I wouldn't do this...No...I promised I wouldn't hurt her. And I not going to hurt her. Promise. This isn't going to end well...Wrong...Everything will be fine.'

She thought for a few minutes, then smiled slowly.

"Ok. That sounds good to me. If you're sure..."

He reached across the table and took her hand in his.

"Believe me, I am."

He said softly.

"Alright. I believe you."

She whisperd happily.

About an hour later, once they had eaten, Haru and Kairi stood outside her appartment building.

"Thank you so much Haru. I had a really good time. Thank you."

She said happily, using all her self control to keep from jumping up and down with excitement.

"I told you, it's fine. And we'll do this again?"

"Yeah. We will. Definitely."

"Ok. I'll call you or something, ok?"

"Ok."

Haru came closer and kissed her softly on the cheek.

"Goodnight, Kairi."

He whispered.

"Goodnight."

She turned and went into the building, and Haru started walking back home.

She felt like screaming with joy as she crashed on her bed.

'I can't believe it! I can't believe this is really happening to me! Oh wow...oh wow...This is so wonderful! He's so wonderful! Oh wow...I can't believe this...'

She fell asleep as content as possible, and dreamed of white dresses, flowers, and islands.

'It'll be ok. This is really gonna be ok. I know it is. Nothing is going to go wrong. This will be fine. This will work. This time, this time, this is really going to work...'

Haru fell asleep quickly and slept dreamlessly.

* * *

right, so:

BoomKat: yep. she's cursed. sad huh?

Ash Muncher: that's what i sposed to call you, right? it won't be confusing later, i'll explain stuff as the story goes on. eventually.

Kirta-leigh: sorry i didn't do the sotry thing, but i already wrote this chapter like, right after i finished the other one(sorry...) but i think i will use that...amybe like, gradualy through the rest of the story...we'll see...


	7. daydreaming

reviewers: thank you! please keep reading, and reviews are really motivating, so keep it up!

* * *

"You look like you're in a good mood."

Jason, the bouncer for the club Kairi worked in, remarked.

Kairi sat up as he came in and sat down on the other side of the bar.

"Yeah, no kidding. Got off early last night. Hey, you won't believe what happened!"

Jason rolled his eyes good naturedly(sp?) and prepared himself for her story.

"So, the other day I met this guy at a coffee shop, and oh my god Jason, he was SO HOT! And we talked there, but then we left and I didn't really think I was gonna see him anymore, but the guess what?"

"Uh...you saw him again?"

"Yes! He showed up here last night! Here! And he took me out to eat, and then he walked me home and kissed me on the cheek and it was so sweet, and we had a great time, and it was so wonderful! Oh god, Jason, he is so great! He's nice, but not in a dorky stupid way, he's really cool, and I just can't tell you how happy I am, I'm so happy!"

She ended by twirling around and giggling.

Jason laughed.

"From what you've said, he seems great. And if he can get you off work early, then he's got to be good for you. I'm jealous, he sounds hot."

Kairi stopped twirling and stared at him, eyes wide.

Jason laughed.

"I'm joking. But seriously, I'm glad you found some one. You seemed pretty lonely there for a while."

"Yeah, but now I'm ok. By the way, how are things going with you and Lilah?"

"It's going great! The other day-"

"Jay! The boss is gonna fire your ass if you don't get out there and do your job!"

Isaac, the dj yelled from the other side if the room.

"Ok, ok! I'm going! Nobody's comin' in here anyway!"

Jason grumbled as he stood up and went back out to the doorway.

Kairi laughed to herself as he left, and then returned to her daydreaming.

'I should probably get a job soon...'

Haru thought as he slowly poured himself another cup of coffee. He jumped as the phone rang.

"Jesus! Who the hell...? Maybe it's Kairi!"

He ran to the phone.

"Hello?"

He stopped breathing as he heard the reply.

"Hatsuharu?"

Haru hung up quickly.

'Hatori...Oh no..they found me...how the hell did they find me? I've got to get out...find another apartment...They can't find me...Not now...not now...What if they also know about Kairi? They couldn't. There's no way...I should call anyway.'

He searched the pages of the phonebook looking for the number of the club.

'Vibe...Vibe...where is it...there!'

He dialed quickly, heart pounding.

"You've reached the Vibe, can we help you?"

A male voice answered.

"Yeah. Can I talk to Kairi?"

"Yep. Just a minute."

Haru waited for a few minutes, growing more and more worried. After what seemed like a lifetime,

"This is Kairi. Can I help you?"

"Kairi? This is Haru."

"Hey! Uhm, you know I'm at home most of the day, and I'm really not supposed to use this phone..."

"I know, I'll let you go in a second. Has a man with black hair and glasses visited you? Or anyone else who's a Sohma?"

"Uh, no. Why?"

Haru mentally sighed in relief.

"Just wondering. It's nothing. So, I'll call you later, ok?"

"Ok. Bye."

"Bye."

Haru hung up and took a deep breath.

'Ok..ok..she's fine...she's fine...'

He started looking in the papers for a new apartment.

'That was wierd...I hope he's ok..he sounded...scared...I hope he's ok...Oh well. Whatever.'

And so Kairi continued her daydreaming, feeling slightly more thoughtful than before.

* * *

more lighthearted-ness. and not a lot happened.hey, personally i like it, it just doesn't really fit wtih whet i originally meant for the mood of the story to be. oh well, it's my story! ; P anyways, hope you like it. reviews please! 


	8. second date

BoomKat: hehheh...kairi thanks you for being concerned.

Emarista the Torturer: yeah, hatori's power would work on kairi. and haru told her about the curse with out telling the rest of the sohmas, so hatori would be pissed. i thing hatori's momory erasing thing is more of a skill, and not a curse, so it wouldn't be canceled out by kairi's curse the way the zodiac thing is.

any other reviewers that i didn't respond to for earlier chapters: sorry, won't happen again. kinda tired, i'm not ignoring you.

* * *

'I should call him...no, wait...He said he'd call me...but what if he forgot? He wouldn't forget, quit being dumb. But it's been almost two days...what if...'

Kairi was sitting at the bar in her kitchen, slowly drinking her coffee.

She jumped as the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Kairi?"

"Haru! Hi!"

"Hey! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go somewhere tomorrow, like, to a movie or something?"

"Yes! That would be awesome! Does if matter when?"

"I dunno...Three-ish? What time do you have to be at work?"

"I start at seven, so three-ish is good."

"Good."

They were quiet for a second, listening to the sound of eachother's breathing.

"Hey, Haru, are you ok?"

Pause.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, you seemed kinda...I dunno...on edge when you called the other day."

"Oh, that, well...nope. I'm fine. Don't worry."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm cool. Probably just tired. Can't really remember."

"Ok...You asked if anyone from your family had come to see me...?"

"Right, well...they can be kind of...unaccepting...so I was worried that they would...I dunno...,"

Haru said uncomfortably.

'I shouldn't lie to her...But it isn't really lying...and it's for her own good...'

"Oh. Ok. So, what's up?"

"I'm looking for a new appartment."

"Really? How's that goin'?"

They continued their conversation happily.

""""""""""""""""the next day"""""""""""""""""""""""

"""""""""""""""sitting in a not formal but still nice restaurant after seeing the movie (i'm lazy, k? sue me.)""""""""""""""""

"So...Have you had it all your life?"

Kairi asked Haru.

"Yeah."

"Wow, that sucks. At least I got a few years of normal life."

(talking about their curses. still lazy)

"I don't know...on one hand, you did get several years without being cursed, but then again, doesn't it make it...you know...harder?"

"Uhm...Yeah. It does, but I have memories...so it isn't that bad..."

She paused, trying to decide whether or not she should ask her question. In the end, she decided that she would.

"So...What was the hardest part? For you?"

Haru thought for a minute before responding.

'Don't say that. Bad idea. She should know. She should know, it won't hurt anything. I won't tell everything. But I'll start to. No, I won't. Not a mistake. Yes it is. Say something else. No. Bad idea. Fine. Fine.'

"Probably school. Having to kind of...distance myself from the others, so they wouldn't find out...And parents were hard. That was really hard. But, my family all live pretty close, so I wasn't totaly alone or anything..."

Pause.

"What about you?"

"Uh...Well, the begining was difficult. And scary. I didn't have any idea what what was going on, and when I figured it out no one would believe me. But I've gotten used to it. I can still talk to people, nobody really gets hurt if they foget, so I still had friends..."

"Yeah..."

"Uh huh...And now I have you! And I don't have to worry, because we're safe around eachother!"

She smiled happily.

A pained look crossed Haru's face for a second.

'Safe...safe...no...not...isn't safe...not with me...Shut up, this is different..She is safe...She is...I am..She is...'

It passed quickly, though, and he gave her a smile.

"Yeah, we are. "

* * *

About half an hour later they were back outside Kairi's appartment building.

"Thank you. Again. This was really nice."

"Yeah, it was."

They were both quiet. Suddenly, Kairi moved forward and hugged Haru.

"God, I'm so glad I found you. Haru, I'm so glad I found you."

He embraced her as well.

"Me too. Me too."

He said quietly.

After they had broken apart and said goodnight., Kairi crashed on her bed.

'Wow. Again. He is so amazing! I can't believe how lucky I am! And I need to stop daydreaming and take a shower already...'

She reluctently pulled herself to her feet and started getting ready for work.

'I didn't do anything wrong...But I almost did. I almost did. But I didn't. It's fine. She's fine. She's safe. No, not. Yes. She is. She is...'

* * *

ok, i'm not feeling too inspired right now. i was gone all weekend, and i'll be gone for the last half of this weekm so i put itup. please review, and sorry for making yet another crappy chapter. ideas are still awesome! 


	9. memories

BoomKat: thanks for the tips! and yu totaly qualified(sp? yet again..) to give me advice. it worked! guess which part! well, which part i was inspired most on...whateva, thanks!

Emarista the Toturer: i know, last one was bad. reasons hatori would be pissed:

haru gave away the sohma secret

and more stuff that i'll explain in time, but anyways, hatori is slightly pissed. ok, maybe just very angry.

k, on with the story!_

* * *

_

_Glass...All over the place...Didn't mean to...Never meant to...Not my fault...Red glass...It isn't supposed to be red...it isn't red..it wasn't...but now it is...Not my fault..._

_From the far edge of the room, he heard labored breathing._

_"Haru...Please...Haru..."_

"No!"

Haru jerked awake. He struggled to slow his breathing, and then he fell onto his back.

'Jesus...Not thinking about this...I'm not...In the past...Can't change it...Not my fault...'

After he regained control of hmself, he got up, got dressed, and found his way into the kitchen. He growled quietly as he turned on the light and let his eyes adjust.

'Didn't make cofee last night...Damnit...'

He sighed and looked at the clock.

'4:53...That coffee shop opens at 5:30...Nah...I don't want to worry about running into Kairi...Not right now...'

So he resigned himself to making coffee himself. When he finished that, we sat down at the bar and looked around his new apartment while he waited for the coffee.

'I liked the old place better...Oh well, I'll get used to it...The lights are too bright, though...Gotta change that...But it should take them awhile to find me again...Made sure not to leave any address or crap like that behind...And they can't find me...I can't go back there. I can't. What would be the point of leaving in the first place if I went back now? And if they find me, then they'll find Kairi too. Don't want that happening. Hatori would erease her memory. That would suck. I don't want her to forget...I don't...I want her to stay with me...But how can this work? I swore I wouldn't do this. I'm putting her in danger. . .But I don't want her to go...I don't want her to...And she won't get hurt. She won't. I'll be careful. She'll be safe. I care about her...I do...a lot...She'll be fine...'

The coffee maker beeped loudly at him.

Haru stood up, filled his mug, then went into the living room. He sat down on the floor and leaned back against the wall.

'No furniture...That's gonna have to change also...Damn, this sucks...I need to get a job...Maybe that's what I'll work on today...Maybe not...'

He took a sip of his coffee(any one wanna count how many times I've used that word?), leaned his head back, closed his eyes, and tried to relax.

* * *

_"Mom! Something's wrong with Dad!"_

_"Wha-?"_

_"He's acting wierd, I don't know why! Mom, we have to do something! What's wrong with him!"_

_The young girl was close to tears._

_"Kairi, honey. Calm down. It's ok. Just calm down."_

_The woman moved forward and took her daughter in her arms. After a few seconds, she stepped back and looked at the girl standing in front of her with a confused expression._

_"Who are you?"_

_She asked, sounding slightly afraid._

_The tears had come, and her voice was broken and paniced._

_"Mom! It's me! It's Kairi! What are you doing! This isn't funny any more, tell Dad to sop! Mom!"_

_"Brian!"_

_The woman yelled, never taking her eyes off the girl._

_In a few seconds a man came up the stairs and into the bedroom._

_"What are you still doing here!"_

_"Dad! It's me!"_

_"Brian, who is this?"_

_"I don't know. She was downstairs a few minutes ago. She kept calling me 'Dad'. I told her to leave."_

_"It's Kairi, damnit! I'm your daughter! What the hell are you doing! I'm your daughter!"_

_Kairi screamed, her voice full of anger and fear._

_"Listen young lady. I don't know who you are, or why you're in our house, but you have no right yelling at me and my wife like that. Now, you should get out and go back to your own home."_

_The man said angrily._

_Kairi stood still, here throat too choked to speak._

_"Get out! Or I'm calling the police!"_

_The man yelled._

_Kari, not knowing what else to do, turned and ran. Away. She tore out of the house, and ran almost completely from memory because she could barely see through her tears. As she entered the graveyard, she slowed, and then collapsed by one of the tombstones, sobbing. This was her place. It was quiet, and peaceful, and family that had owned it had abandoned it long ago. Even now, it was totally silent, aside from the sound of her crying._

* * *

Now that's more like it! I was so totaly into it today, this chapter was the easiest to write so far! beisdes maybe the first on. or two. But, even if you don't loike it, i'm completely satisfied with this. even though i apologize for now having any kairi/haru interaction. review plaese! 


	10. another date

BoomKat: yeah, i'll explain his memory petty soon. not quite, but soon. thank you for inspiration tips!

Emarist the Torturer: i know, i know, but there is k/h interaction in this one! enjoy!

Kirta-leigh: yes! you got it! anyways details on his memory and black side coming soon!

* * *

"Hey, you ok?"

Isaac(dj, 'member?) came over and sat down at the bar in front of Kairi.

"Mmmhmm."

"Liar. Really, you've been bouncing up and down over your new botfriend for the last month, and now you're...well...the way you were before he cam along."

He paused, and then his eyes widened.

"He didn't break up with you, did he? If he did, then just forget him! You deserve better than that! You want Jay to beat him up for you?""

Kairi shook her head.

"He didn't break up with me. I'm fine, ok? Don't worry, I'm just sorta tired."

'Dreamed about Mom and Dad last night...Again...Been doing that a lot lately ...'

"Alright...But if you want to talk, Jay and I are both here for you, ok?"

"Ok. Thanks, Isaac."

"No problem babe"

And with that he went back to whatever he was doing before he came to talk to her.

Kairi sighed and laid her head down on the bar.

'He should show up again...like he did that first time. I need to get out of here...Do something. Anything. Please come and get me out of here...'

(note ok, let's say haru and kairi have been going out for about...2 months? 6 weeks? something like that. i couldn't work it into the chapter, so i'm just putting it here.)

He didn't, though. But there was a message from him when she got home. She threw her coat and purse on a chair and ran to the phone.

"Hey, Kairi. Uhm, it's about...uh...maybe, 7:00? Anyway, you said you were getting off work early today, and if you aren't to tired, do you want to go get something to eat? Call me back when you get this. Love you baby. Bye."

beep

'Yes!'

Kairi thought, her mood improving already. She picked up the phone, dialed his number, and 20 minutes later they were walking inot the restaurant where he'd taken her on their first date.

"So, how was your day? You sem kinda...tired..."

Haru said.

They were sitting across from eachother.

"It was ok..Yeah, I didn't sleep very well, but I'm alright. Jay smashed I saac's foot in the door. He was so pissed! It was pretty funny though."

Haru chuckled a little. He'd met Jason and Isaac, and they all got along pretty well. He didn't have a lot of money, though, and Kairi's boss had already said that he couldn't ust come and talk to her. Not allowed. So they hadn't had a lot of time to get to know eachother. He still hadn't met Sarah, either.

"Yeah, my day was good. How about you? How's your job going?"

He'd finally found a music store that was hiring.

"It's alright. My boss is a total bitch, though. Doesn't like my hair. Which doesn't make a lot of sense, considering half of the people who come in there look like me. Apparently it's 'intimidating and ridiculous(sp?)' Can't make me change it, though, so it's ok."

Kairi laughed.

"People don't seem to take to your hair, do they?" Oh well, I think it's hot."

"Thanks. But it makes it difficult to get a job. Whatever, I don't really mind."

Their conversation continued, they ate, and(once again. I'm repeating myself) wound up at Kairi's place.

"Hey,...Uhm...Do you want to come in for a while?"

She asked nervously.

(believe it or not, they haven't screwed yet)

He smiled a little bit.

"Yeah, ok."

* * *

(author speaking: alright, i am NOT making a lemon, so you'll just have to imagine how it goes yourselves. thank you for your patience. author is done speaking)

* * *

And Kairi fell asleep happily in Haru's arms.

ta da! yet another chapter! sorry it was kinda short, but that's all i got for the moment. well not really...snickers cuz she knows something you don't anyway, hope you liked it. seeya soon.


	11. breaking

reviewers: Bloody Angel Rose, Emarista the Torturer, BoomKat, kyo's little koneko

Thank you! You guys rock!

_

* * *

_

_He turned slowly. There were petals...rose petals...falling in the room. The wite walls were still bare, and it was silent, but there were rose petals. He raised his head and smiled. _

_'Everything is fine...Everything is good...'_

_The boy closed his eyes and let the silky pieces fall over his face. The room was filled with a soft, steady sound. Soft, but not inaudible,hythmic, but not beating. He let it fill his soul as he whispered to the walls._

_"Kairi..."_

He opened his eyes slowly. The space on the bed next to him was empty. Haru smiled as he turned onto his back and listened. After a few seconds, his senses adjusted and he could make out footsteps though the wall of Kairi's bedroom. Sighing, he got up, got dressed, and made his way into the kitchen.

Kairi looked up and smiled.

"You're up!"

"Looks like it..."

He paused.

"Breakfast?"

Kairi looked down at the pancakes she was making, looked back at Haru, and grinned.

"Looks like it. Not too bright, are you?"

He sat down at the bar.

"Just tired."

Kairi blushed slightly, and Haru gave her a soft smile.

"So, how are you?"

He asked.

"I'm good. Kinda tired to...But good. So glad I don't have to go to work today!"

"God, me too. That would be hell."

"Mmmmhmmm."

They were both quiet for a minute before Kairi spoke again.

"Syrup?"

She asked as she slid some of the pancakes onto Haru's plate.

"Yeah, thanks."

She spent a few minutes searching the kitchen for the syrup in vain.

"Uh...I know I had some...I was using it the other day...! Right! Just a second."

She left the kitchen and entered the den. From his chair, Haru heard some sort of object fall to the floor, and then a second later Kairi's voice.

"My bad! It's cool, don't worry!"

Haru chuckled to himself.

'She's such a slob...God, she's amazing. I can't believe I was seriously thinking about passing this up! Everything is ok now! Hatori hasn't called again, I've got a job, Kairi is the most wonderful person in the world...Yeah, everything is good.'

A loud crash and faint scream came from the other room. Haru's eyes widened as the familiar sound came into his mind.

Haru jumped out of his chair and ran to the room where she was.

There was glass all over the floor around where Kairi was standing. Haru stopped in the doorway, taking in the blood stained glass. The scent of the oil from the broken lamp swept over him. He almost stopped breathing, his thoughts contracting, hurtling out of control.

"I need the guaze out of my bathroom."

Kairi's voice was still shaken as she took in her bleeding calves.

Haru didn't answer, but continued staring at the glass, unable to move.

"Haru...Please..."

Something broke. The scent...The sound...The voice...Everything he's spent so long running from caught up with him. Haru slowly raised his eyes to meet Kairi's, and then ran.

_

* * *

_hehehe. guess what? there's another chapter! i actually wrote it all as one, bu tthen decided that i could split it, so you'll get more in a couple of days. maybe 2. maybe 1. maybe 3. something like that. sorry, i've had this huge ending planned since the begining of the fic, but i'm currently listening to the sponge bob movie from the den, so it's really not inspiring the psychologically odd part of my mind that i really needed to pull this off the way i wanted to. oh well, it's not as bad as it could be. tell me what you think. cheers. 


	12. the past

ok, here's the other chapter i promised! fast, no? right.

_"He's such a jackass! God damnit, I can't stand him anymore!"_

_"Haru, calm down! It's no big deal-"_

_"Don't fuckin' tell me to calm down! You have no idea what it's like having to deal with this, so don't fuckin' tell me to calm down!"_

_Haru screamed in rage._

_The young woman's lip trembled._

_"Haru, please. Just stop for a minute and breathe."_

_'He usually tries...But this seems worse...Hatori should know better than to make Haru go black like this...God, I hope he tries...'_

_"I don't need to! I'm so sick of keeping everything inside! I'm so sick of being calm and mild, when I feel so fuckin' pissed! I want to be able to be pissed, damnit!"_

_He grabbed the glass lamp off the table and threw it at the wall._

_It shattered. Glass flew everywhere. The woman screamed. Haru froze._

_The woman shrank against the wall, hands at her throat._

_"Please...Help..."_

_Her voice was ragged._

_Haru didn't hear. His mind started slipping into a state of vertigo(haha! i've been trying FOREVER to get that word in somehow!). The glass was red. He could barely hear her forced breathing._

_"Haru...Please...Haru..."_

_Suddenly he regained a suspened sense of being, and picked up the phone._

_"Hello? Hatori? Something's happened. I need you to come over now. Right away. Yeah. No, there isn't enough time, just hurry. Ok. Bye."_

_He went back to the room where she was._

_The breathing had stopped._

_He stood still in the doorway for a moment, exhaled slowly, then went to her side and knelt. Taking her face in his hands, he softly kissed her lips._

_"I love you..."_

_He whispered. Then, still in a suspended state of mind, he stood up silently and walked away. _

it is the way i wanted it to be...but it kinda isn't...i guess i didn't plan out how ths was gonna be exactly...bleh...i guess it'll do. it all seemed like...kinda the same, you know? like i kept using the same phrases. hehehe...i'm criticizing(sp?) myself. that's yur job. well, it's yur job to actually say what's wrong. i just think it. right, i'm rambling. sorry. review!

ps! not as dramatic as i thought it would be! that's it! and too fast! damn...


	13. telling

ack! omg! i realized, like, the day after i posted that last chapter that i didn't respond to reviewers! i'm so sorry! anyways, for the last two chapters:

boomkat: lol. i have 2 younger bros, no i totaly get the odd/pissy thing. hehehe. hope yur missing assignment was good!

kyo's little koneko: i know, it's confusing. that last one was a memory. if i type slanted letters, than it's always either a dream or memories. but thanks!

Bloody Angel Rose: thank you for reviewing!

Band Guy's Girl. Maybe: thank you! i know, i've been hinting FOREVER! couldn't take it any more. lol. luv yur name.

Testing243: yep. slanted letters are always dreams or memories. and yeah, that's why he doesn't have any glass where he lives. wow, it's all coming together, eh? i actually pulled that off! happy

haku wife: thank you for reviewing!

and everybody, sorry it took so long. anyways, here we go!

* * *

"No...no, no, no... I didn't...Not me..."

Haru stumbled onto the street. It was morning, but the sky was un-naturally dark. Angry coulds were blocking the sun, and tension was building from the coming storm.

"I didn't...I didn't..."

Haru's eyes were wide as he moved, but he couldn't see. Sudden;y, the thunder sounded, and the sky broke.

"It wasn't my fault!"

He screamed into the rain, despair and grief filling his voice.

"It wasn't! I didn't mean to! I never meant to!"

He fell to his kness, and let the tears come.

"I didn't mean to...I swear...I never meant to..."

His body racked(i looked it up, so pretty sure that's right) with sobs as water and tears streamed down his face.

"Haru?"

Kairi's voice shook as she moved cautiously towards him. (got the bandages on herself, fast, eh?)

He didn't answer, apparently unaware of her as she knelt beside him.

"Haru? Haru, it's me...It's Kairi...Can you hear me?"

"I didn't mean to...I swear I didn't mean to..."

He choked through his tears, still not looking up at her.

Letting his sorrow seep into her, Kairi began to cry as well.

"I know...It's alright, Haru, I'm here, it's alright..."

"No...No, Kairi I don't know what...I don't...Don't know what to do...It wasn't my fault..."

"Just come with me...Out of the rain...Haru, it's ok, just come back inside."

She gently took his arm and started pulling him up.

Slowly, he co-operated and let her guide him back towards the building.

Soaked, Kairi and Haru entered her apartment. Haru pulled back quickly as the smell of the oil greeted them.

Kairi spoke softly.

"It's alright. We'll go into my room, the door was closed, it should be ok."

Haru met her eyes and nodded.

Once they were in her room, Kairi sat down on her bed and gestured for Haru to do the same. He did, and she took a deep breath.

"...Tell me..."

"I can't"

Haru whispered, trying to hold the tears back.

"Yes you can. Haru, you have to tell me."

She said gently.

"No...You'll...You won't...You'll leave..."

He said quietly, avoiding eye contact.

"Haru..."

She moved so that she was beside him.

"You have to tell me...Haru, I love you.."

Tears filled her eyes.

"I won't leave you, I promise. I'll never leave you. Never. You have to tell me."

He raised his head to look at her. After a second, he took a deep breath.

"Ok...I..."

He stopped, taking a minute to regain control of his voice.

"Her name was Faith...She was...Oh god, she was amazing..."

A brief smile flashed across his face as he thought of her.

"Anyway...Something happened...I have a split personality.."

He went on to tell her about losing control, and the glass, and how he'd wound up where he was.

"...It...I didn't mean to...I swear I didn't..."

He lowered his head and stared at the bed.

"H-Haru..."

Tears flowing (ug. you know what? theses people cry too much), she pulled him into her arms.

"Oh god, Haru...I don't know what to say..."

She paused, and he was silent.

"..But...I'm staying with you. I love you, Haru, forever. I'll never leave you."

He slowly put his arms around her too.

"I won't hurt you, Kairi. I promise I won''t hurt you."

"I know..."

"I love you Kairi..."

"I love you too, Haru..."

* * *

lol. i've had this ending planned out from, like, the begining, and hey! i messed up! the part where he's outside was sposed to be at night. and i've been wondering this whole time why it wasn't fitting...anyways, i think i'm going too fast. whateva.tell me what you think.


	14. homecoming?

Emarista the Torturer: thank you for reviewing!

Birdcrazy: nope, not over yet.

Silent Storm 200: still not over ; p

Band Guys's Girl. Maybe: yeah, well, that's me for ya. and god, it was driving me crazy! he was taking so long! kairi should have known from the begining! but anyways, yeah thanks! ps. did you tell the band guy yet?

kyo's little koneko: thank you for reviewing! and i'm glad that you are no longer confused.

BoomKat: i know, isn't she great? any smart person would have left him right away. lol. nope, they was meant for eachother.

* * *

"I can't. Kairi, I want to...But I can't."

Haru said.

They had been sitting and talking about the situation on her bed for almost an hor. At this point Kairi was trying to talk Haru in to going back and talking to his family.

"But Haru, they deserve an explanation. It's been years! You just left after what happened with out saying goodbye or anything, they must all be so worried!"

She pleaded.

"Kairi, I want to. You have no idea how much I wish I could, but I can't! My family is twisted, and I could snap so easily! I don't know what I would do if one of the ones I cared about got hurt!"

"Haru..."

"No. Can we please just drop it?"

"No! Haru, I've spent so much of my life wishing I had a family, and you're throwing yours away! They'd understand! They'd still accept and love you! And from the way your family seems with the curse and everything, it really seems like worrying about you is the last thing they need on their minds! Haru, you have to go back and tell them!"

Her eyes filled with tears as she spoke.

He was silent, really thinking about it all.

'I hate seeing her like this...I know she misses her parents. I know she feels strongely about this, god, it really isn't fair that she wants a family, and I don't want mine...maybe I do want mine...But how could I go back there? How could I come home after s much time...and what if I do wind up hurting one of them? What if It was Momiji? God knows h pisses me off enough sometimes. What if I hurt Kisa...? What if she...I'd never be able to forgive myself. Never. But Kairi's right...But I can't...'

"Please. You have to..."

Kairi whispered.

He brought his eyes up to meet hers, then took a deep breath.

"Ok...Alright, I'll tell them..."

Kairi smiled through her tears, and threw her arms around him.

"God..Thank you Haru."

He returned her embrace.

"I love you Kairi."

"I love you too."

After a few minutes they broke apart.

"Do you want me to go with you or something?"

Kairi asked.

Haru shook his head.

"No...No. I need to do this alone."

"Alright...Don't worry, ok? You won't regret doing this."

"I know, I think...if that makes any sense..."

By the end of his sentence he looked terribly confused.

Kairi laughed lightly.

"You won't. Trust me."

She paused.

"Do you have a time in mind? Because, the sooner the better."

"Uhm...Yeah...Yeah, I think I'll go..tomorrow...actually..."

Kairi's smile grew wider.

"Ok! But only if you're sure, I don't want you to rush anything..."

"No, I'm sure."

He paused.

"Thanks Kairi..."

"No problem."

They embraced, kissed, and then got up to eat lunch.

* * *

huh...an odd ending to that chapter...well, that was the laziest and boring dialoge filled chapter yet! do i get a reward? like i said, i messed everything up. 12 was sposed to be the last chapter, so this isn't the end, but it will be ending soon. review! everybody! please!


	15. the three

birdcrazy: i know, it's almost over! happy thanks for reviewing!

boomkat: no, he didn't hurt her. she smashed a lamp, like the same kind of lamp that he threw and accidently killed faith. the sight of blood and the smel of the oil brought up all of his memories. she just screamed cuz she was scared, she didn't really get hurt very badly. i know, the 'black haru' thing is kinda silly. especially if you think of his normal side being 'white haru.' lol. thanks for reviewing!

Band Guy's Girl. Maybe.: told him yet? Thanks for reviewing!

Silent Storm 2002: lol. well, originally the chapter before that was sposed to be the last chapter, but i messed up and had to keep going, and that's why all of these seem a little off. thanks for reviewing!

Emarista the Torturer: i hope he'll be ok too! lol. thanks for reviewing!

Ki Ki: eep! lol. wow, thanks!

everybody: i'm sorry it took so long! i went on vacation with my family, and i was going to post as soon as i got back, but then i didn't like it and had to re-write it and everything. but now i'm back! so read away!

* * *

'Uh...No! This is a mistake!'

Haru turned as quickly as he could back to the cab he'd used, just to see it disapear into the fog. He'd ridden to the souhma house almost in a daze, and now that he was actually there, his mind cleared. Well, not really. He'd paniced.

'Oh god...'

He swallowed as he turned back to the front gate.

'Well...here goes nothing...'

He shut his eyes tight as he raised his fist to knock.

"Haru?"

His hand never hit the wood. He opened his eyes to see a small, golden head poke timidly out of the gate.

"...Kisa...?"

Her face lit up as she lunged forward towards him.

"You're back!"

He laughed with joy and relief as he lifted her up above him and spun her around.

"I'm back!"

"...Is that...Haru...?"

Another blond head poked out.

"Momiji! It's him! He came back!"

Kisa squealed from her position in the air.

Momiji reacted much like Kisa, only jumping and sqealing on his own accord. The three of them entered the main house like that, laughing happily.

Almost all of the dread Haru had felt in coming home had vanished by then.

'There's still Hatori...but he shouldn't be too bad...and Akito...well, he never really cared much about what I did anyway! Yeah, I'd say Hatori is the one to worry about...but whatever...'

Just then Hatori stepped out onto the front porch.(thing)

Haru rasied his head, and the two of them locked eyes.

'This is it...'

After a few seconds, Hatori smiled a little.

"Welcome home, Hatsuharu."

Haru smiled.

'I'm home...'

"Where were you anyways?"

Momiji asked, diverting Haru attention from Hatori.

Haru shrugged.

"Around."

'...Why did it take me so long...to come back here...? This is my family...Why?...It was her...Kairi...woke me up...at last...'

"Are you staying for good this time?"

Hatori asked.

Haru shook his head.

"I've got an appartment, kinda far away from here."

Kisa looked dissapointed.

"So you're not going to live with us?"

Haru smiled sadly.

"No sweetie. But you can come and visit me all the time, I promise."

'No...I came home, but I can't live here. That would be too much...'

"...Alright..."

She said slowly, as if she was trying to decide whether or not she approved of this idea.

"And I know somebody who'll love to meet you."

"Who?"

"Hmmmmmm...I think I'll keep it a secret."

Haru teased.

"No, tell me."

Kisa whined.

"Nope. It'll be a suprise when you come and see us."

Kisa looked pouty for a second, and then gave up.

"Fine. How long are you staying?"

"I don't know. A couple of days?"

"Good! I made something in school today, come see!"

Kisa sprang to life and started dragging Haru towards her room to see how much had changed. Momiji followed them.

Hatori stood alone on the porch as he watched them leave. After standing in peace for few minutes, he sighed and went back to his office. Sitting down at his desk, he brought out a picture of the three of them when they were younger. They were laughing at something Haru had done.

Hatori smiled to himself.

'He's home again...Finally...He had his time to heal. Well, as much as is possible. But he knows he welcome here. I think he'll be alright...'

He sat like that for a long time, looking at the picture. After a while, another figure entered the darkening room.

"Hatori?"

Haru voice was timid.

"Hmm?"

"Uhm...Did I...Am I in trouble?"

Hatori smiled at how childlike Haru's question sounded.

"No."

"But...What about...Akito...?"

"I spoke to him. Several times. Don't worry, he won't give you any trouble."

Haru sighed with relief.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

He paused, then said in a softer voice.

"Kisa missed you..."

Haru lowered his head.

"I know...But I just couldn't...risk being here. I still can't."

He brought his face back up to look straight at Hatori.

"I did something aweful, Hatori. I never want that to happen again. Ever."

"You won't...You won't..."

Hatori answered slowly.

They were both silent for a minute, then Kisa came back in.

"Haru?"

Haru smiled gratefully at Hatori, and then turned to go with Kisa.

"Coming."

Smiling, Hatori returned to his desk.

* * *

the next chapter will be the last. wow, personally, i think this turned out way more light-hearted then i'd intended. but whateva, tell me what you think! review! 


	16. the end

Band Guy's Girl. Maybe: thank you for reviewing! yeah, i was fluff. this one is a bit fluffy too...bleh. waiting for yur email!

Boomkat: yep, Kairi's in this one. And i'm so gald i got to bring kisa in! thank you for reviewing!

Silent Storm 2002: thank you for reviewing!

Kurama13: thank you for reviewing!

k, everybody: here we go! last chappy!

* * *

"I promise I'll write, and you can come and see me soon."

Haru hugged Kisa right before he got into the cab.

"Don't take to long."

She said quietly.

"I won't."

He said to her, then waved to everybody.

"Bye. Seeya."

They all waved, and he got into the car and began the trip back to the life he'd made for himself.

'I was here for two days...that isn't very long, but seriously, with this family, it can seem like forever...'

He thought good-naturedly as he stared at the trees out the window. After a while, he leaned his head back and fell asleep.

The light was flashing red. That was the first thing Haru did when he got home. As he pressed the button on his phone, Kairi's voice filled the room.

_"Hey, Haru, this is Kairi. I know you're still gone, and that's good! I'm so proud of you! But, uh, there's beeen kind of an accident here, and I need you to call me or come see me or something as soon as you can. Uhm, you'll find me at either the bar where I work, or the coffee shop where we met. I love you. Talk to you soon. Bye."_

'Oh god...and accident? She didn't sound desperate, or in trouble, or anything, but still...I'll go now...'

He dumped his bags in his bedroom, grabbed his coat, and headed out the door.

He went to the bar first, and, luckily for him, that was where she was.

"Hey! Haru! You're back!"

She jumped up from the stool, and her bored position of drawing circles on the smooth counter.

"Yeah!"

"So, how'd it go?"

"Uhm, great. I got your message, what's going on?"

"Oh, uh...well..."

She looked a little bit embaressed as she bit her lip.

"What? What happened?"

Haru's mind started racing.

'What! What's going on! What happened? Are you ok? Why don't you want to say anything? How bad is it?'

And countless other worried thoughts passed through his brain.

"Well..."

She paused, then let all of her words out in a rush.

"Some idiot didn't put out his ciggerate and burned down most of my appartment builing, and I got everything out and no one got hurt but the place is pretty trashed, and I need somewhere to stay for awhile."

Haru stared, then let out a relieved laugh.

"Yeah, sure! You can totally stay with me! No problem!"

"You're laughing?"

Kairi stared at him.

"Well, yeah! Jesus christ, Kairi, you really had me worried there! Don't do that!"

"Well, sorry!"

She pretended to be annoyed.

"Yeah, k. So, you're just gonna come over when you get off work? Where's all your stuff?"

"It's all here. Yeah, if I can come over that soon, then that would be great."

"Alright."

He looked around. The place was almost empty.

"Can I uh, get a drink?"

Kairi smiled.

"Sure."

And they continued the evening like that, talking about Haru's visit to his family, and the fire at Kairi's place. Whe she got off work, Kairi followed Haru back to his appartment, and fell asleep in his arms.

"Are we there yet?"

Kisa asked from her seat in the cab.

Haru laughed lightly.

"No, not quite. Almost."

Fifteen minutes later, they were walking up the stairs in his appartment building.

Haru knocked.

"Kairi, we're here!"

She came to the door quickly and opened it for them.

"Kisa, this is my girlfriend Kiari."

Kisa smiled timidly.

"Hi."

"And Kairi, this is my cousin (i really have no idea how they're related) Kisa."

"Hi!"

Kairi held out her hand.

Kisa shook it, then they all went inside to eat.

Haru insisted that they both sit at the bar while he blundered around making food for them.

Kisa stared around her in feigned(lol.sp? never used that word before) awe.

"Geez, Haru, this place is a dump!"

"Me!"

He said indignently(sp?).

"Kairi's the slob, not me!"

"That is not true!"

"Who's clothes are those!"

"_I_ didn't put them there! You're the one who can't do laundry!"

Kisa smiled as they bickered playfully.

'He really likes her...Good. Finally, he took long enough. I hope this works for them...'

After several more minutes of chaos, things settled down, and Haru peacefully left Kisa and Kairi sitting at the bar, since they had both 'ganged up on him' and insisted that he at least clear out a path from the door to the kitchen. From the den, he watched them quickly get into a converstaion and start laughing. He smiled.

'Good...This is good...'

He paused to look around the room.

'...All plastic...It's all still...'

He looked back up at the two girls.

'Well...some things won't change...some things will never change...'

He sighed.

'I still can't risk anything happening...things could still happen...I can't change what I did. I can't make up for it either. No matter what I do, these are shadows that will always follow, and haunt me...'

He finished cleaning in silence, then went back to the girls on sat down, starting to laugh along with them.

'They will always...always...follow...'

* * *

ok, thank you all so much for reading and reviewing this story! my first posted one ever! notes on this chapter: soory if it seemed rushed, but it was. like i've said multiple times, the end was sposed to be a couple chapters back, so all of this has kinda been forced for me. and it was too fluffy. but yeah, that's the end! right, so, since this is the last chapter, EVERYBODY REVIEW! k? thanks!


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